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[yig]

But, it was different tonight. There was a feeling of autumn coming to last a million years. There would be no spring
Ray Bradbury, The October Game

It's that time of the year again! Whether it be the week before, a few days prior, the devilish day itself, or the godforsaken hangover and candy-coma after, this is the season of the witch. Below are a few ghastly and ghoulish options for you to choose from, or roll, or think of your own damn prompts. I DON’T CARE. Point is, HALLOWEEN IS (ALMOST) HERE. So let’s get BUSTIN.

1. TRICK OR TREAT: Good ol’ wholesome o‘weener fun. Whether you’re a kid, a shithead of a teenager pushing the last of your candy years, or some dickbag adult, you are on the HUNT for candy.

2. PARTY AND A HALF: Either you’re throwing, attending, or crashing some kind of spooky shindig. This may or may not be BYOB.

3. ESCAPE ROOM/HAUNTED HOUSE (PG-EDITION): More wholesome fun. Maybe a spooky little corn maze, or a chill haunt put on by your local community. You might catch a fright or two, but you’ll definitely survive the night.

4. ESCAPE ROOM/HAUNTED HOUSE (R-EDITION): X-TREEEEEEM HAUNT!!!!! You’ll still live, but this might take you into tomorrow and things may get torturously physical. Whether it be in a spooky mansion set up by some lunatic of a millionaire or a camping trip with a staged psychopath charging through the woods—it’s bound to scare the shit out of you. That said, it’s STILL not quite real and even though the waiver might say otherwise, you’ll probably survive the night.

5. ESCAPE ROOM/HAUNTED HOUSE (REAL EDITION): ‘nuff said. Pretty much Saw or the Haunting of Hill House. Have fun. Bonus points if you make it out alive. Platinum if you make it out alive with all of your appendages.

6. THE DIVE BAR: Fuck Halloween. The hell is that shit anyway? You’re a Debbie Downer and getting shitfaced for all the wrong reasons. Or maybe you got lost on your local FUN bar hop and ended up here by coincident. Are you the only one without the whole lumberjack flannel-and-a-beard costume? Hmmm.

7. HORROR MOVIE NIGHT: You’re playing it lowkey this year. Chilling inside with a loved one or some friends and watching the classics.

8. MORNING AFTER: Need I say more?  Christ almighty, are those two dozen Bit-O-Honey wrappers on the floor? Who could have been drunk enough to go through—oh. Right.

9. LOST IN THE WOODS: Either you’re just out of luck and in a spooky basic-bitch forest with nothing to actually go boo in the night, save your own shadow, or there’s something actually hunting you.

10. OBLIGATORY SMUT OPTION: You can jack my lantern 😉 😉 😉

11. WILD CARD OR WHATEVER.